It’s the most wonderful time of the year … and also one of the most stressful ones. As we edge towards the festive season, the pressure to create a ‘perfect’ Christmas complete with lavish gifts, delicious food and harmonious family relationships can feel overwhelming.

For those who are struggling with loneliness, grieving the loss of a loved one or experiencing financial difficulties, Christmas can bring feelings of isolation, depression or anxiety. Even if you are looking forward to the holiday season, setting unrealistic expectations – both on yourself and others – is often a source of stress that can affect your mental health.

Here are a few tips that will hopefully help you reduce the Christmas stress and enjoy the holidays without compromising your wellbeing.

1. Focus on presence not presents

We might lament the over-commercialisation of Christmas but it is easy to get caught up in the gift buying frenzy when we are surrounded by adverts for the latest gadgets, toys and fashions.

To avoid overspending, set a Christmas budget before you hit the mall or browse the online stores. According to the Bank of England, a typical household in the UK spends over £700 more in December compared to other months, with Millennials and parents of children under 18 the most likely to accumulate debt through gift buying.

It might sound cheesy, but remember that your presence counts more than presents at this time of year.

2. Don’t be afraid to delegate

Just because you’re the host, it doesn’t mean that you should be stuck in the kitchen all day while everyone else puts their feet up. To reduce the Christmas stress, try to plan ahead by choosing recipes and dishes that can be prepared in advance and don’t require too much attention on the day.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help – most people are happy to contribute by bringing a dish or assisting in the kitchen. You can also delegate tasks such as serving drinks, planning party games and taking people’s coats when they arrive to younger members of the household.

3. Set and respect boundaries

If Christmas leaves you feeling overwhelmed and burnt out, it might be time to set some boundaries. This doesn’t mean that you have to be rude but constantly trying to please everyone else will deplete your energy levels and suck the joy out of the festive season. If you need some time alone, don’t feel guilty for taking a walk by yourself or blocking out an evening for bubble bath and Christmas movies.

Honest and open communication is key to setting boundaries. If the thought of having to break the budget by buying individual presents for your large extended family is stressing you out, suggest a game of Secret Santa instead and set a maximum limit to spend on each person.

Remember that it is all about give and take. As well as setting your own boundaries, it is important to be respectful of other people’s wishes and preferences. Don’t be put out if a family member declines your invitation for Christmas dinner because they want to spend the day at home. Accept their preference for a quiet celebration and suggest meeting up for drinks or dinner in the New Year instead.

4. Embrace the crazy

Sometimes our own expectations are the source of our Christmas stress. Let go of your idea of the picture-perfect Christmas and accept that you can’t control every single detail. When your children are fighting over a board game or uncle Derek is snoring in the armchair, remind yourself that the reality of a family Christmas tends to be infinitely messier and louder than the images on your Instagram feed.

It is common for old family feuds and resentments to rear their heads on Christmas Day, especially after everyone has had a few drinks. Try to steer clear of controversial topics and it an argument does rear it head, diffuse the situation by controlling your own response. A healthy dose of acceptance and understanding will stand you in good stead and help keep the peace not only at Christmas, but all year round.

5. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude

As humans we have a tendency to focus our minds more on things that go wrong than things that go right. Overcoming this negativity bias is not easy but cultivating an attitude of gratitude can interrupt and override this automatic thought process.

You can use a technique called the “3 S’s” to reduce the negativity bias by Smiling, Saying thank you and Setting an intention. This simple routine only takes a minute or two but it can shift your attitude in a very powerful way.

1. Smile – Research shows that smiling for at least 17 seconds creates a chemical change in the brain that triggers feel-good hormones. The good news is that it even works if you are faking the smile!

2. Say Thank You – Pause for a minute and think about what you are grateful in this moment. At Christmas, this could include being surrounded by family, enjoying delicious food or simply having a roof over your head.

3. Set an Intention – The first two parts of the technique should have created a positive shift in your mind that allows you to set an intention such as, “I’m going to enjoy the day and spend time with people I love” or “I am going to accept that we are all unique people with our own experiences, thoughts and opinions”.

There is no denying that Christmas can be stressful and it is easy to get caught up in the seemingly endless merry-go-round of shopping, cooking and entertaining. Whether you are religious or not, take some time to reflect on the true meaning of Christmas. Enjoy some quiet moments with your family and think about how you can extend kindness to those around you.